M1 Observing
Introduction
Do you ever find your thoughts drift in the wrong direction? You are out taking a morning stroll, you want to be out enjoying the sunshine. But, your thoughts keep taking you off course. our mind keeps wandering to whether you turned off the oven, whether the fast-approaching clouds will break into a sudden downpour of rain and ruin your hair and clothes (and you didn't even think to get an umbrella!). Maybe you worry about the business trip that you have to take next week.
What if you could notice when your thoughts are drifting off course? What if you could gently nudge your thoughts back to the present moment?
In the following exercise we will take our first step to developing our mindfulness muscles. We will focus on a single object, and recognize when your thoughts are straying, and practice bringing them back.
Instructions
Focus on an object for 5 minutes.
Do this exercise three times a week.
Step One: Find a Comfortable Space
Find a comfortable and quiet place where you wouldn't be interrupted. Breathe several times slowly, breathe in and exhale so that the muscles in your body release their tension and you feel relaxed. Get comfortable.
Step Two: Pick an Object and Focus Your Attention
Pick a small every-day object. It can be anything - a book, an apple, a notebook, a coffee mug, or a toy. Try to pick an object that would be emotionally neutral to you and that doesn't hold a significant emotional meaning for you. For example, don't pick an object that strongly reminds you of a situation that made you feel angry or sad.
Start to observe the object with all of your senses. Spend about 5 minutes on this. Start by looking at it. How does it look? Does it look smooth, does it have edges or is it round? Is it very small or medium-sized? What color is it? Is it shiny or dull? Pick it up with your hands and feel the weight of it. Is it light or heavy? How does the texture feel on your fingertips? Does the object make any sound or is it silent? Does it perhaps have any certain smell to it?
Don't worry if your mind starts wandering around, this is normal. Perhaps you will start thinking about something that happened during the day or some plan that you have for later in the day. When you notice this, without judgment gently turn your attention back to experiencing the object.
Step 3: Notice and Accept Any Experience That Arises Inside You
While you are doing the exercise you may have different reactions to it. Maybe you will realize that you are tired and you will start noticing that your body needs rest. That is okay, just accept that physical sensation and without judging it go back to concentrating on the object until the end of the exercise. Another common reaction is that you might feel like you are bored with the experience. Again, just acknowledge that feeling, non-judgmentally accept it and gently return mentally to the object. Notice any different thought, emotion or physical sensation that you may have and gently shift your focus to the object again.
Step 4: Write Down Your Progress
After you finish doing the exercise, use the worksheet to write down how the experience went for you. This is useful because as you return to the exercise you have a record of your progress. On the first column write the date and in the second - the object that you picked to observe. In the column named Qualities of the Object write the qualities that you described the object with, i.e. the adjectives or descriptions (for e.g. small, smooth, light, makes no sound). In the last column write down any thought, emotion or physical experience that may occurred in you while you were doing the exercise.
| Date | Object | Qualities of the Object | Thoughts, Emotions, or Sensations |
|---|---|---|---|
| 15 March | An apple | Medium-sized, red, smooth, shiny, smells fresh, makes a small sound when I touch it. | I realized that I was a little bit hungry and tired. Also, I became a little relaxed. |
| 17 March | A ring | Small, shiny.. |
Worksheet
Studies show that writing things down while you do the exercises deepens their impact. Since this is the first exercise, let's get off to a good start. Print out the worksheet and grab a pencil and let's get going. If you don't have a printer, just grab a piece or paper and start writing!
FAQs
How is this exercise going to help me be more focused?
Our minds very often wander from one thing to the next in a fast and disorganized way. Being more focused is a skill that needs practice and that can be learned and evolved. If you spend five minutes every day focusing on an object while noticing any thought, emotion or physical sensation that may arise in you and gently turning the attention back to the object, the brain will slowly start to do this with other things during the day as well. Thus, you will be able to focus more easily when you need to, and be more relaxed, happier and more productive.
I feel impatient while I am doing the exercise.
This is probably a sign that you feel like rushing through the exercise and going onto doing other things that you planned for the day. Just gently accept the feeling that may arise and keep observing and focusing on the object.
Is the point of the exercise to become more aware of when you are getting distracted, or to not get distracted? Or both?
As you become more mindful, you will be more present in the moment and less likely to worry about the past or future. This will help you to gradually reduce the number of negative or distracting thoughts and emotions. You will also become more skilled in noticing when you are distracted and redirecting your attention to something neutral or positive, such as an every-day activity, a pleasurable hobby, or something else.
This exercise has been a huge help in beginning me start my new journey. Thanks for making this. Great worksheet!
A good starting point for me. I like the idea of starting by noticing what is going on in my head.
I did a 6 month live in DBT program as a teen. It genuinely saved my life. Now I’m in my 20s and teaching my family and friends these skills. This is the way to a happy life and healthy relationships
15th Sep, 2020
It was my first exercise. I have this habit of abandoning a work started without completing due to anxiety / depression. So I really don’t know how this can change my life. But I’m positive about the outcome. Hence, for a start, I observed a pen and felt better within those 5 minutes.
On my first worksheet today observing a single worksheet this seems interesting & definitely worth it. Looking forward to completing first work sheet & doing the rest of the exercises. Here’s to a good start.
It made me more aware of being distracted while I was doing these exercises.
How long should I be doing each exercise for before starting the next. Like should I practice each one for a certain amount of time, until I feel like I mastered it, or should I just do them and move on to the next thing?
I would keep returning to the exercises that you find useful until you feel like you have mastered them. You might find yourself dropping an exercise for a while, then returning to it when you feel like you need more practice.
You can also move onto the next exercise, even if you haven’t mastered the previous one. But, I try to work on no more than 3 new skills at a time.
OMG, this site is doing wonders for me. I am grateful that I found this site which is the solution to my BPD! Each and every word holds positivity and when implemented helps alot.
My object was an ink pen that was laying on the table next to me. During my analysis of the pen I felt calm. I think that by focusing on the pen and only the pen, that forced concentration aloud my mind to be free of distractions or negative thought that I have had anxiety about prior.
I love these exercises.
Focusing in these sessions was easier than my usual scenarios. When doing tests, exams, puzzles, IQ tests, crosswords I stay focused on the relevant problem. But without the challenge of sucess or drive to excel, my brain is free to run amok. With orientated goals like these, I can focus easily.
Thank you for this exercise and creating this content!
Amazing information, I shall definitely come back to refresh my memory and keep practicing mindfulness. I found this very useful.
Just starting this. I’ve heard of DBT before but never known what it was about as it’s never been suggested by a therapist before or if it has no one has followed through with it including me.
I had never heard of DBT even though I have been in therapy a few times over my 55 years. Just researching and doing the very first exercise this morning, I know that I am finally on the right course to assist in me. Thank you to my psychologist for suggesting this to me and for the website too.
Struggling with BPO right now, this is something that I really need… Besides the harmful consequences brought by BPO(borderline personality organizationn), I also always have difficulties in concentrating and focusing, it seems like that my thoughts were always wondering around, Thanks!
This material is very helpful. I tried the mindfulness activity and I seem to be calmer.
It kinda help I am still sad about everything I’m going through.
I appreciate the step-by-step instructions.
I was distracted by the cat walking across my desk, as well as my insulin pump buzzing. I kept checking the time, and couldn’t relax. Maybe another time without the distractions will go better.
This exercise make me to focus on object , observe emotion see things in different prospective
Thank you very much for sharing your knowledge and helping the people in need.
First day. This has been great. I am excited to be starting this. What an amazing resource.
I found it hard to focus for the five minutes on this object, but was surprised the amount about it I was able to write down.
I rushed through the process and ran out of things to observe. I need to focus on slowing down and being in the moment.
Seems easy enough to focus on a object for 5 minutes
Kinda boring and hard to focus on something for 5 minutes, but I’ll try.
I put this comment to commit myself to start and finish all the 10 modules.
Let’s get it started!
Nov 7, 2022, Amir
I am looking forward to practice this every day and see the benefits. Might even try getting my friends/ family involved to help them become more mindful.
Thank you for sharing the DBT techniques. I believe these types of therapy are priceless to operating at our optimal, and they should be available to all people or all incomes.
Thank for teaching how to put forth this behavior therapy technique. It’s great for personal use and clinical use. I’m really excited to use DBT in practice.
This online resource for DBT is absolute gold! We have 6-12 month waiting lists for this course in our local services. Thank you so much for eliminating the barriers to providing people access to this much needed therapy.
Looking forward to to being present in what I am experiencing
Grateful I was directed to this site by my therapist! Honestly I’m always running on a 7 track mind, looking forward to becoming more mindful and self aware in my everyday routines!
Recommitting myself to mindfulness. It helps to remember that it works even when I struggle. Five minutes seemed like a long time but I persisted and am consciously being kind to myself. It is okay that I got bored and impatient. I did the exercise anyway.
This was a great start towards the healing process. It is something I will add to my tool box.
What if you have no problem being in the moment becasue that is how you cope with life? You don’t think of things that you need to deal with, or that hurt you. But then you just feel like a failure because everything is crubling around you.
I noticed how smooth the folder was and that it had sharp edges, i thought about how shiny it was almost enough to see my reflection.
Now I realize how many thoughts and distractions I had while I’m watching an object.
Thanks for the great explanation!
I come from a visual arts background. I chose to spend the five minutes of observation by drawing the object. When it came time to write down descriptors , I found myself perceiving the object in even more detail. I also see parallels with meditation practices.
I am interested in taking a dbt class and also sign my granddaughter up. She will be 16 and has issues.
I did this and was like “why does this seem so familiar?” then realized I’m a geology major and I literally do this exact thing to rocks several days a week for an hour or two at a time lol. I think I might have to try this when I’m in a worse mood and actually have to deal with negative thoughts.
This feels like a good start!
This is a good starting point for me.
I have found myself thinking about how the object is like me in different ways. Is this normal? Beneficial?
ADMIN – Hi Sondra,
That is perfectly normal. It’s great you noticed your thoughts drifting in that direction. Now try and gently guide them back to just the object.
The exercise is about learning to notice when your thoughts drift, and being able to guide them back. Hope that helps!
A great way to realign thoughts and re focus so that my mind isn’t overthinking. Thank you 🙂
I focused on a candle and was surprised at all of the different things that came to mind about the object: its scent, the warmth when it burns, memories of lighting candles at special occasions, and the comfort that the light can give you.