Negative Judgments

We make judgments all the time. You go out to lunch with your family. Your sister is late, monopolizes the conversation, and leaves you with the bill. You make a judgment, "she is really selfish". You took some observations you made (her lateness, her dominating the conversation, and her leaving you to pay the bill) and made a judgment. Or maybe you look out the window, see rain and wind, and make the judgment that the weather is bad.

These negative judgments are often unconscious and unproductive. They often stem from cognitive biases and distorted thinking patterns. These biases can cause us to perceive situations, others, or ourselves in a negative light. Negative judgments often make us feel bad and make us less effective at managing the situation.

In this exercise we are going to be more mindful of when we are making negative judgments and how they make us feel.

What if I can't find enough time during the day to do this exercise?

Although it is best if you tried to do this exercise throughout the whole day so that you won't forget the situations and what exactly happened, if you can't find the time for it, you can do it at the end of the day. During the day try to be mindful of the situations that will trigger your negative judgments so that you will have a better memory of them at the end of the day.

Do negative judgments always cause negative emotions?

There are some negative judgments that do not necessarily cause emotional pain (like, the weather is cold today). There are neutral and positive judgments as well (for example, my daughter always gets excellent grades at school) which can be the basis for negatively judging a situation that doesn't meet our expectations (my daughter always gets excellent grades at school, so how come she messed up this exam?). In this exercise though, we are just going to focus on the negative judgments, since they are the ones that cause the most unproductive (negative) emotions.

Should I completely try to avoid judging things?

The point of this exercise is not to completely get rid of judgments, because sometimes judgments are necessary: you consider whether or not a certain situation is good or bad for you, whether it's safe for you or not, you assess your work performance so that you know whether or not you should change something in the way you work.

However, negative judgments are often not useful, because even if there is something that you think should be changed or is negative, there is probably a clearer and more productive way of thinking about it. Saying "This job is really bad for me" doesn't really say a lot or produce a positive outcome. What exactly do you mean? Is the environment stressful? Do you find the work activities unfulfilling? Negative judgments are often just a shortened label that prevents us having a more in depth and productive understanding of the situation.

If you have any behavioral health questions or concerns, please talk to your healthcare or mental healthcare provider. This article is supported by peer-reviewed research and information drawn from behavioral health societies and governmental agencies. However, it is not a substitute for professional behavioral health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.