Instructions
Step One : Being Honest
Think about whether you are usually honest in your relationships or not. Do you feel comfortable sharing the truth? In other words, do you trust the people around you enough so that you would share your truth? This can be particularly challenging if the truth is something that is difficult or uncomfortable to share.
Note that you should first try to evaluate whether the person you are communicating with has earned your trust so that you can trust them with your thoughts and feelings back.
Think of a recent situation where you found it difficult to share your honest opinion, thoughts or feelings about something. Then, practice being honest and formulate what you would say, even though it might've been uncomfortable at the moment.
Example
Situation : Rachel had a difficult time telling her boyfriend that she doesn't want to hang out with some of his friends because they usually joke around in an insensitive and degrading way. Instead of telling her boyfriend the truth, she usually tells him that she is too tired to go out or to have them over.
Practicing being honest: "Although it is a little difficult for me to tell you this because I feel uncomfortable, I trust you enough that you will understand me. The reason why I tend to not want to hang around with some of your friends is because I feel offended and hurt when they joke about something that I said or did."
Step Two : Being Understanding and Respectful
It is important that the person that we are talking to is feeling validated, appreciated and heard while we are communicating with them. You can practice being understanding by reflecting their point of view and emotions in a non-judgmental way.
It is hard for other people to be honest with you if they expect that you will criticize or judge them. Remember that everybody does things because they have their reasons and because usually, they get a certain need met. Even though sometimes it may not be obvious to us why the person we are talking to decides to take one route over another, we should treat their decisions with respect.
Note, this mean that you have to approve or agree with the other person. It just means you need to open yourself to understanding their situation and being respectful.
Think about a recent situation and how you practiced or how you would've practiced being understanding and respectful. Write it down in the worksheet.
Example:
Situation :Mary is meeting her friend for dinner. While they are talking, her friend is telling Mary that she's been drinking more and more because she's been dealing with lot of stress because of some medical problems.
Practicing being understanding and respectful : "It must feel terrible having that operation hanging over your head. I care about you. Tell me more about what is going on. "
Step Three : Being Consistent
Another important component for building mutual trust is being consistent and stable over time. When people are unpredictable with their decisions and behaviors - that can make them less trustworthy and can lead to decreased interpersonal effectiveness.
Think of a recent situation where you practiced being consistent or would've benefited from that. Write the example down in the worksheet.
Example:
Although I was a little tired and just wanted to watch the movie, I knew that she would appreciate it if I paused the movie and made myself available to listen. Every time she wants to talk about something important to her, I make it a priority to give her my full undivided attention.
Think about how you would apply these three steps in the way you are communicating with other people. Try to apply them in your day to day life.