FAST meaning
F – Fair
A – No Apologies (for existing)
S – Stick to your values
T – Truthful
This skill is about how you carry yourself in tough conversations, especially when it’s tempting to fold.
How to do FAST Skill
F – Fair
Being fair means treating both yourself and the other person with respect. It’s not about giving in or "keeping the peace." It’s about being honest and calm and avoiding exaggeration or manipulation.
Stay aware of your tone, body language, and words. Avoid blaming or assuming, but also don’t sugarcoat things at your own expense.
Example: “I know you’re upset about the missed deadline, and I want to explain what happened clearly.”
A – No Apologies(unless one is really needed)
This doesn’t mean you should never say sorry. But don’t apologize for having a need, setting a boundary, expressing an opinion, or simply taking up space.
Avoid phrases like:
- “I’m sorry to bother you…”
- “I know I’m being annoying, but…”
- “I hate to ask, but…”
Try this instead:
- “I’d like to talk about something important to me.”
- “I need to set a boundary here.”
- “Something’s come up, and I’ll need to reschedule.”
S – Stick to Your Values
When you feel cornered or uncomfortable, it’s easy to say something just to smooth things over. But that short-term comfort usually leads to long-term regret. FAST encourages you to stay true to your values, even if it’s uncomfortable.
Ask yourself:
- What matters most to me in this situation?
- Am I being honest with myself and others?
- Am I acting out of fear or integrity?
Example: You’re asked to do something that doesn’t feel right. Instead of saying yes out of guilt, you say, “That’s not something I’m comfortable with.”
T – Truthful
Be direct. Don’t exaggerate, twist the facts, or lie to protect someone’s feelings. That kind of dishonesty usually leads to resentment or drama later. Truthful doesn’t mean blunt or cruel. It means clear, grounded, and real. Avoid manipulation (like guilt trips or passive aggression). You can be kind and honest at the same time.
“I don’t have the bandwidth for this right now” is truthful.
“Ugh, no one ever helps me anyway, so whatever” is not.
Applying FAST to Your Life
Situation: Your coworker keeps putting their work on your plate and acting like it’s no big deal.
Using FAST:
Fair: “I know things are busy for both of us.”
No Apologies: “I can’t take on any extra tasks right now.”
Stick to Your Values: “I value fairness and clear boundaries at work.”
Truthful: “If I keep covering for you, my own deadlines suffer.”
You stay respectful, but you don’t cave.